What does protecting our peace really mean? For me, it’s speaking my truth, having those hard conversations no matter what, asking for a safe space in those moments, asking to be heard, and making sure I am doing it with and without love and respect. Now, again, that is for me.

I haven’t always been able to do that. This is something that I am practicing daily. Sometimes it’s writing it, speaking it, or even doing it here. I have in the past and am still guilty of “beating around the bush”, talking in code, or just not being clear in certain moments. When I do that, it is because I don’t feel safe to be vulnerable, which I have a love/hate relationship with because of the outcome, of course.

I in my past as a child and even an adult have felt way too many times that I am not being understood or really heard. That is one of my luggage’s I carry. I fear that opening up will bring judgement or an outcome I wasn’t looking for. I as an adult have learned to try, key word try not to get too much powers to people. That is extremely hard for me being in the past and now still some what a people pleaser.

Being a people pleaser made me want to make sure I say or do what I think the other person or people want to hear. But with years of counseling, I have had to turn my focus to me. What do I need? How do I feel? Will this benefit or hurt me? Will this give me peace? And have I done everything I need to feel good about where I stand? Now, everyone has their limits, and some of us don’t know where or when to let go. That’s fine, but knowing what is good for you is all that matters.

My peace is made with communication, understanding, listening, and marking my list off. I will use this in every situation because I am in a place and time where I have no desire for who and what doesn’t need, know, or is willing to do the work with me if that’s what is needed. Getting things off my chest and out of my head and heart is what works best for me, and when I know I can and am provided that space. I want to give that same feeling back, whether it is a good, bad, or sad outcome.

I have struggled for years with mental health and giving myself peace when it comes to other people and even myself. I am a chance giver, an understand them but what about me person, and a well they have had a hard time so give patience, but what about me? I need and crave people in my life that are capable of giving that in return. And it is hard because these days a lot of people are in this what they call “eras”. The all or nothing, the do unto them as they do to me, the I am the only one that matters, and the there is always someone else willing to era.

Call me old school, but the grass isn’t greener all the time. Sometimes, yes, and I have seen it, but they also have their own for themselves before leaving or giving up. I like to say I have to check my list off for me, for my peace, for my well-being in all areas. Some have been easy, and some extremely hard, but over the years, people have shown me who wants it and who doesn’t. I believe I have said this before in other posts, but I am a fighter and loyal to a fault. However, I have had to learn because I don’t remember being taught how to protect myself and my peace. I want to enjoy life and laugh with my people and make memories, but I won’t and can’t if I am not preparing and protecting myself.

I have also had to realize and understand that life is always changing and coming and going. I have to go with the flow and know my limits. I am going to be honest, sometimes it is hard because these days little people pleaser in me wants to keep everyone happy, but I have also adjusted who I surround myself with so that I feel comfortable in saying no, thank you, I will catch you next time, or I can do some but not everything. It is not easy for me to do that. I have learned to let go and know not everything or everyone is for me anymore, and that is really hard for me.

Life is always changing and not always easy, but we only have one. It might seem long, this life, but it really isn’t. It goes by fast and in reality can be short, so do what makes you happy and feel good about your life, but not at the expense of your peace and truth.

I am sure we all have had this vision of what our life would look like, or what we wanted it to look like right? I have always had, for the most part one version. I wanted a family. I wanted a house full of love and laughter, fun and slight chaos (very slight, and not like bad chaos, but like running kids around and handling business chaos), I had to make that clear sorry. Now I have had a few situations of that, and I guess I still have hopes of one day finding my perfect version because those just weren’t mine I guess. That’s fine, I don’t want what’s not meant for me.

My counselor, in our last session asked me,” Breanna what kind of life do you envision?” I had to take a second because, and only because I had to think if it was still what I wanted at this point. The reason she asked was because my life right now is a little different and I had come to a realization that I was just going to be alone. I answered, ” I want to live life with someone.” I mean who doesn’t right? All I have ever wanted was to create memories with someone, have traditions with, wake up and go to sleep with, create a home with, go on adventures with, love, support, and cheer someone on in all they do. I want to be someone’s biggest fan, and want someone to want that with me.

Now at 43, it can be a little harder to have some of that because I am not in the beginning of life, but like mid-life I would say. I am not saying I can’t have any of it but, it will most likely be modified because at this age we all come with a luggage set, (not going to say baggage because that sounds negative and I like to keep it positive) and well in a luggage set there are multiple pieces that come with it varying in sizes. When it comes to unpacking I usually start with the smallest and then end with the biggest. You know knock out the easy stuff first so I can focus on the big.

I know anyone I meet at this point in life is coming with some luggage and I am here for it. I am patient and process like no other. Hi, you know me I have a love/hate relationship with thinking, but it helps me and sometimes helps others a long the way. The one challenge I do and will have is when they hesitate to even think about opening it. If I am with someone I am committed to whatever that brings. I am not here to judge or jury a life. I am here to support and with love take each thing that comes up one thing at a time. I want to create a safe space to open up and face things together.

Whether it is love or friendship, it comes with either expectations of things we will or won’t deal with and I think that’s healthy. We have all been through a lot and I know and can only speak for me that I feel like I have a better understanding now what I will and won’t put up with. I also will communicate feelings before but saying goodbye. I mean we don’t know what we don’t know but once we have taken the time listen to understand and it still doesn’t work then choices should be made. I always want to try to listen to understand. There is so much I want t o understand but I also need to remember what I need and what works best for me.

I want things in life, who doesn’t. It might not be the conventional way everyone else does it but it is not their journey, it is mine, and like I said I have thought many times in my life I knew what my life would be and well not even close and that is ok. I have to keep being me and being true to my heart and mind. Life is short and I want to be happy and content in it. I also know I can’t plan it honestly because anything can change at any moment.

My life right now my life is more than half full, but to me that just means there is room to grow, experience, make choices, and have fun. I have a lot of blessings to count and a lot of things to continue to work on. I personally see that as a win. I have no idea where life is going to take me now, in a few weeks, months, or years, but I know I want to stay positive in all that I have and all that is to come. So if you meet me now or I have already been in your life I come with luggage, but not to much that I can’t make room for yours.

As an adult I was told this was to be a key in all my relationships, especially romantic. Now, I am not saying I am a pro but I feel I am pretty good at all of these but always working on them. If I had to pick one that was the most important these days, I would say communication is the one. Without this key one the other C’s will be hard to follow through on.

The definition of communication is the “sending and receiving of information”. To me that also includes listening to understand not just to respond. I have had many situations where communication is nonexistent or just to respond, but have also had instances where there is listening to understand as well. I am guilty of the first, and will be the first to admit it. I let my emotions overpower in the past, but now I think before I speak and make sure it is always with love and if a response is wanted that I do it the same with love.

Everyone is different in how they communicate something good, bad, big, or little to people, and even if speaking is hard, because like me you are a very emotional person, writing it is not a bad or wrong choice. Being able to express yourself in a comfortable and safe way that is best for you is better than not at all. It can be hard to talk about good and hard things but having the courage to follow through allows growth in so many ways.

When you find a relationship or even a friendship that is willing to communicate in such a healthy way hold on to that. Even if you don’t see eye to eye but still listen to understand or just agree to disagree that’s healthy. But talking at each other and not willing to be open to different perspectives close that. If you keep feeling like you are talking and not being heard or talked over that won’t change. Make sure it you have done all you can for you and then let there be silence. That’s ok to let it go. The commitment and the compromise is out the window if there isn’t good communication.

I have finally found a relationship and friendships that are willing to hear and talk and what a night and day it is. Sometimes it throws me off because it is so foreign for me, but let me tell you when you speak with love and understanding and wanting to actually understand the other it makes a world of difference. Having someone that wants to just listen and not immediately respond but think before they speak or actually try to make sure they are being clear, man oh man, keep them. That will be a relationship and friendship of growth and that is healthy.

No matter the generation it’s hard but realizing that whether the outcome is good or bad it is the best. Being open and willing will always be better in the long run.

Thank you to those that create patience in the process of listening to hear and understand and not react without being open. I appreciate and value you.

Being an over thinker can be a good and bad thing. For me personally it is both of those at times. The good is that it has made me very intuitive to feelings and situations, but on the other hand, there are times it has been bad for me like when I sit in feelings or situations that are unknown to me or out of my control. Now I am not a controlling person, so when I use that word it is more the feeling of not having a choice in something.

This year is bringing a lot of changes, and if you know me I hate change. My mom and friends tell me that all the time. I am such a creature of habit and routine person that sometimes I get really overwhelmed when things have to be modified or totally different. In certain situations I am totally go with the flow, but that’s because I planned to be. I know what you are thinking, what at nut. Well yes. For so many years at a time in my life I had no control and now that I have control of my life, it kind of takes a lot.

Even though I work and try to stay busy, I, in between all that just think about stuff. In a few months multiple big things will all be happening, some for sure and some that I will know hopefully before hand. Always thinking, I admit can be very overwhelming at times, but I also feel it helps me sort things out in my head. It allows me to prepare and figure out a plan for the next move I need to make. For business, work, and scheduling it is great, but in other life areas it can be too much and sabotaging.

When it comes to people and relationships it can mess me up mentally and emotionally. I am someone that over loves, over cares, shows up, keeps promises, and is loyal to a fault. This generation of dating and even friendships makes it hard. I am not someone that can half ass in things like being there. When I think of people I tell them, when I love or care for someone I tell them, and when someone needs me I will be there in any way that they need.

This hook-up culture, ghosting, bread crumbing, and situationship ability is not for me. I need absolute clarity and honesty. When I say that I mean like a child, break it down for me to the exact terms of what you are wanting and needing, so I know how to navigate what I can and can’t do. But, being an over thinker makes it hard because I will over analyze things. I might read in to things that might not be totally true all the time, but with communication for us “over thinkers” is key.

Now let’s talk about technology, social media and all of the instant ways things can be solved. A lot of people have lost the skill of face to face and being consistent. And I mean read my blog name you can even be real about being inconsistently inconsistent. Let’s be real we “ALL” come with baggage and trauma of some sort, so when it comes to friendships and relationships putting it all out there will always be the best bet. It allows whoever you are trying to get to know just a little bit more about you when learning each other. With my friendships I like to have one on one time so that I can learn them and them I in a more intimate way.

When we build a strong foundation in all we do, it allows us to have a firm ground to fall back on if things can’t be reciprocated. I am learning and will continue to learn that not everyone can meet you where you are or even the potential you are working towards. I am finding it hard for me to understand that at times, only because, very much like a lot of interviews I have held over the years there are a lot of people that will just tell you what they think you want to hear, other than say where they are from the get go and avoid all chances of being let down and or disappointed in the out come. The mess that is left can possibly just add to the load they already carry and this world is heavy enough.

Ok, back to all of the forms of things that make it even harder these day for people such as social media and texting. Of course because I am going through something right now all that shows up on my FYP is things including that. I work in a job that I might not always be able to text instantly, answer a call, or respond to a DM, but I have too much accessibility not to shoot something back in the mean time. I might not be on my phone all the time but I do have a watch that allows me to respond and not everyone does I get that and because of who I am and how I think and feel, I can take two seconds to say “with a client”, “be right back”, “give me one sec”, or “can’t talk now”. Now it’s just me but I don’t like to leave people guessing or waiting. I know that is not everyone situation, so I am just speaking about me. Like I said in the beginning if that is disclosed it’s not a problem, but what the problem can be is when you do respond quick in the beginning and then all of the sudden it just stops. Then there is social media and to the sensitive over thinker seeing that you are online or can do that but can’t respond all we do is think is “What the heck!” I try to understand that we all have different outlets and distractions. Sometimes we just want to check out for sec rather than check in. Our lives are overwhelming, and sometimes that one more thing is just like, ugh, one more thing.

Yesterday I heard a quote or I guess just a thought and it made me think a lot actually, and I know nothing new, but it hit home for me. They said, ” If someone can read a text, leave you on delivered, or just plain ignore you and think man what should I eat for dinner, and never respond, that says so much more about them and the audacity they have to be so insensitive to people.” That will never be me because I am never too busy and care too much about what they might feel or think. I know things can be a lot, feelings can be a lot, but remember the beginning when you put those feelings in, it wasn’t easy and probably wasn’t for the other person either, so give the decency and regain that courage you had in the first place to finish up whatever you started.

No one is ever to busy. That’s all I hear lately and it sucks because it is way too easy to give something. But I guess that’s just me. What’s hard is for people to be real and honest, sweet or sour. Don’t make people think, don’t play games, don’t be intentional about the wrong things. Be gentle or harsh whatever works for you I guess. Be so completely honest it comes off as to much, because people all have things going on that the last thing they need is to feel is confused, unwanted, unworthy, not good enough, and not worth a quick response. And if you are not in a place to be something to someone don’t even crack that window. It is all fun and games until there are more people in this world hurting over something they don’t understand.

To all the sensitive, feelers, over thinkers, empaths, caring people out there don’t let your heart go hard. Stay soft, stay gentle, and remember or at least try to remember that we come into peoples lives for a reason in those moments and although we might give it all, some just can’t meet us where we are. We have to read between the lines and keep a steady pace at meeting them where they are as much as that sucks. Everyone out here is or has gone through something but not everyone knows how to deal with that in the moment. So be kind and always lead with love and continue to grow from each experience.

Hi my name is Breanna and I am 42. I have a daughter, a dog, own a business, and love what I do. Dating at this age is new to me and well if I can be honest I am not really sure how to do it. I have watched my friends date and it is brutal. Some of them have luck and some of them get ghosted. Some of them talk to one person and some of them talk to many. I am not only too scared to be out there, but I am not one that will ever talk to more than one.

I have only been in long term relationships my adult life and well that’s the way I like it, but that seems to be hard these days. There have been instances where my friends think they have found the one and then, get this, there are sites out there that people put there person on a site to see if anyone else is dating them, and well hasn’t turned out good for them. These days with social media and all of the apps, and sites it’s crazy.

I am not someone that wants to be entertained by many or wants to do that myself. I like to focus on one and get to know them and everything that they are. Where are those people? Where are the ones that don’t need to be admired by many to boost their ego or whatever it is. Why can’t people commit to one? Why do people think there might always be something better out there? If we focus on what’s in front of us that will show us if they are or aren’t the one.

At this age we all come with, and I am not a huge fan of this word, but, baggage. Now, I know most of us acknowledge that, but a lot don’t know what to do with it. Some do “the work”, some google certain attributes that people display so they can try to identify the challenge, and some just say that’s who I am or who they are. Only we know what works best for us and for me it has been counseling and self work. I will always be someone that will want to help unpack that bag with them. My patients and care is something I have worked on in all relationships.

I am not perfect and will never be perfect, but everyone’s perfect is different and one day my imperfections will be perfect to someone and theirs to me. Understanding that we are human and always changing and growing is what matters. Seeing someone for everything they are in every moment is what love is about. Taking the time to learn, listen, and love all the things that makes them who they are is what unconditional is.

The one thing I do know about myself most confidently and that is never changing is I am made to love. I am made to be someone’s biggest fan in all the ways, to care for, to show love, and to be their listener. I grew up listening, I picked a profession where I listen, and I have learned through it all that by doing that it allows a space for people to feel safe and that is what I choose to be a safe space. Now, I have had some people say I wasn’t listening, but I am always listening to learn. Learning all the little things allows me know how to navigate all the relationships in life. Even with that though I haven’t always made the right choice of knowing when to leave certain situations and well that is a different challenge of mine, I have a hard time giving up on people and things, but that is for another time.

Ok well the point of all of this was when you find the one that you can’t stop thinking about, that you wonder if they ate, drank enough water, had enough sleep, had a good day, or is just taking care of them selves don’t loose that, it is rare and real. I know the only way to find that is to meet multiple people, I guess, but one will always stand out more. Take the time on them, it will be worth it no matter how it turns out. Go slow, take your time understanding them, get to know all the little things, and if they mean something to you tell them. People will come when it is unexpected and every thing is an opportunity and can be something great, don’t waste or ruin it on always trying to find something better, (is that even really a thing) when you can take the time to focus and water something that could be so beautiful.

It has been quite a year to say the least. This time last year I was freshly broken up with, told she was already dating someone else, having to work with her for the rest of the month because she couldn’t be inconvenienced, dealing with the passing of my grandpa, had my birthday coming up, and trying to cope with letting go of the life I thought I would have and was told just weeks before. Now I know that was a lot and of course it wasn’t the end of the world, but it felt like it to me. I can honestly say I didn’t see any of that coming. Things were up and down but did not expect what was thrown at me.

At that moment I went in to fighting mode. I had to. I was having panic attacks, not sleeping, not eating and questioning everything in my life. Thankfully, the previous month I had started counseling again and a few friends that helped me through it. Now sad to say this wasn’t my first rodeo dealing with change, which I am not a fan of, but having to be stuck in it was not easy. I felt like I was going crazy and was hard to have to just keep on going.

Something changed in me big time. I decided to focus on myself for the next 6 months. I started the gym, changed my eating habits, started school again, dove deep in to a lot of self exploration, and wanting to make sure I grew but didn’t harden my heart.

While in counseling a word that came out that I have never really used was abandonment. I had been feeling that in a few areas of life and then being hit and treated the way I was from her made it feel even stronger. I am someone that doesn’t like to really use certain words to classify certain feelings because I feel they are held for more specific cases. But what I had to allow myself to, I had been through a lot of stuff and was allowed to use these words I felt were so specific.

In 2018 there was a very traumatic incident that happened and was just beginning of so many more little things along with a few things the years prior that had just been chipping away at me. Since 2020 I have been dealing with the feeling of abandonment as well. Now I am someone that really tries to identify exactly what I am feeling and not discredit that it is any of mine to feel or that I am being ridiculous. But as I have been talking about it in counseling, I have had to learn that my feelings are valid because that is not how I have ever felt. That is really hard for me to accept and to think about myself.

But last year really did something to me and I had to fight to change my thoughts at every moment. Instead of asking why, which I did constantly, I asked myself how. How can I learn from this, how can I change my thoughts, how can I protect myself from another outcome like this. Now we all know you can never really protect yourself from nothing ever happening again, but I can learn to be more aware and listen to my instincts more. I can slow down and think before I do things.

Through the year there have been little bumps, but also there has been so much growth and learning. A year later I have gained an amazing friend group, I have done more things to make happy memories than I ever have, I have opened myself to new experiences, I have started focusing on making memories in moments rather then just going through life. I still have a lot I am working through and learning to cope with, but I am so much stronger than I was last year.

I am staying patient with myself and my process. I have kept my heart soft and open to life. I have continued to do new things, celebrate life every day, count my blessings, and believe that I am something of worth. I will be honest, that last one is a daily fight, at almost 42, single, alone most of the time other than at work, and still trying to understand a lot in my life. I know what I do and can bring to the table. I am not sure when and if I will ever meet someone to share a life with again, but I do know I will keep myself open and my heart soft. I will continue to be who I am and always will be. I will check in on people without expectations, I will allow space for people that are in need while protecting myself, I will keep working on growing to know who I am and work towards my full potential.

I am and always will be someone that does work. The only thing in life that will be 100% will be my phone battery, and my intentions in all areas of life, but life changes and fluctuates constantly and giving myself grace to move forward and if I need to just be still is also a practice I do. I am blessed I know that and I am thankful for it always. I will continue to focus on growing and surrounding myself with things that make me happy. I will keep trying new things and enjoying the people in my life. I will leave space to continue to heal and learn about myself. I will be gentle with my thoughts and words to myself. I will also continue to recognize how far I have come and that my life has changed significantly all in positive ways since last June.

2020 was a rough year for me. Today marks the anniversary of my grandmas passing, which has brought up a lot of feelings that I wasn’t really expecting and I am having a hard time shaking them off. But if I am being honest I am not really sure I want to shake them. I haven’t felt these feelings or a overwhelmingness of feelings I should say. I am a feeler and thinker so I am always somewhere on the scale of high to mid emotions daily. I have had to really work hard to manage them and learn when I can control and need to let happen.

Let’s do a little recap of 2020 so I can help you understand a little more about these feelings I felt I needed to share. I will do a quick list and then break some down. Covid, parents moved out of state, grandmother passed away, brother moved to So.Cal, my girlfriend moved out in to her own place, I had to move out of our house and by myself after a long time, and had to move salon locations.

Covid changed a lot of things, not only for my business, profession, and relationship. My lease was up and had to find a new location to move my salon during it all, along with kept working and allowed my stylists to as well. Covid played a heavy part on my relationship as well. Both being stylists and my allowing my stylists to work while her owner did not was hard financially and emotionally. Along with the kids home for school and so many thing closed we didn’t have the outcome I was hoping for, coming together and getting closer, but instead it was really hard on her and things became difficult.

That March my parents decided to move to Las Vegas. We had talked that December about them thinking about it and well site unseen they bought a house and were on their way. I have never lived far from my parents and even to this day is still difficult for me but also know they need to live their life and do what is best for them. It all happened very sudden and how I remember it I didn’t have enough time from notice to leaving. If I did I would have held them a little longer. Not having them less than 15 minutes away is still hard. No more weekend bbq’s, or dinners, or days with my mom. I miss those days and just being close. I have been feeling lately I need to get better about going to see them and my brother.

April my grandma passed away and the feelings of loosing someone and knowing that yes it will change my life, but the thought of others whose lives will change. My aunt who took care of her for years, my parents, and uncles, and cousins and my brother. I am so thankful for the great memories I have because of her and with her. In that August a few of the family member went to Tahoe and celebrated her life. Sharing memories, and moments, and just being together was much needed and such a blessing. Tahoe was one of her favorites and a place I have so many memories with her and my daughter.

By the end of that summer my brother had moved to SoCal where he loves to be and then I was alone. Over the years we have gotten so close. He teaches me so much and has shown up for me in ways that mean more than I can express. He is a hard worker, a great man and my best friend. We can talk about anything and everything and to have that as an adult with my sibling was something I didn’t know I would ever have. He shows me love and support and I just love his so much.

That September my now ex moved out wanting space and to know if she could do it on her own. Covid had put a lot of stress on things and as hard as I tried I couldn’t stop her. We lived together for 5 years up to that. Three years later things ended and she moved on pretty quick. I was left to clean and move the rest of the things out of the house and had move in to my own place in October. It was hard and I was thankful for the help I had.

In June I moved in to my new salon and had to work under the radar because of covid but was thankful for our clients love and support through it all. We made sure to stay on top of things and keep them and ourselves safe through it all.

I went through the holidays and was trying to figure this new life out and how to navigate it all. I know all the things have had to make me more independent and stronger but today 4 years later something came over me and flooded me in a way I have not felt in a long time and then of course being the thinker I am the years in-between filled up empty space and added to the load of it all. My life has changed so much since then and I know I am a truly blessed person and thank God for that everyday. I have grown and will continue to grow. I know we all have had things we have been through and I have been through more since then but that year SUCKED. It was a lot for me and today all over came back and more and I needed to get it out.

Thank you for allowing me this space to be a place that I can express myself and feel safe doing it. I am grateful for my family , friends, clients, business, and what I get to do everyday. I hope you all have a blessed day.

These last few months I have been working on being intentional with my connections. Not that I haven’t in the past but I learned I need to be more selective in what I invest in, not only for myself but for the people I put my time in to. I have learned to create boundaries and also respect other people’s as well.

I haven’t always been great with where I allow my energy to be used and come these recent months I have really been working on standing firm and sharing only where I feel safe and it is reciprocated. Knowing when I feel it back and not being taken advantage of has been very eye opening. I haven’t always been the most selective when it comes to sharing my energy, but after working on what fuels me and what drains me it has gotten a lot easier to weed it out.

When we become intentional with our connections something beautiful happens. A clarity on direction and understanding becomes so refreshing. Now I am practicing being more present to things that build me up and don’t drain or break me down. I won’t say I don’t have time for that because it seems harsh and not everyone is the same but I am definitely more aware of what’s put out and shown.

Life is hard enough without having people that bring you down, question yourself, or suck your joy. Although people do need others out there that bring out the good still, I will just be more aware of the ones that want that for themselves. We are created to build and support, but not be chipped away at when we try to be that. People change, notice their faults, and grow when they want to and sometimes it’s just not there.

As you know the last part of the year I focused on myself because I was going through a break up and needed to learn to love and find myself. With that came standing up for what “I” needed and that has and is hard for me. So this year I will not only continue that but my new intentions. I ended 2023 exactly how I wanted to and needed to for “Me”.

When I talk to my clients or counselor it feels good to know that I made it through what could have been so much more harder if I was to just keep doing and living the way I was. I have an amazing group of friends and have been doing so many more new things that I would have never, and man that feels good. The next is to slowly open myself up to possibly meeting someone new and that scares me. I also will be working on boundaries. Protecting my peace no matter the situation meaning place or people.

someoneInvesting in people that actually invest back in me will be something new and different. I have given so much of myself and my time to people and things that either never gave back or was not consistent, and I just can’t anymore. Working on my health also means being more protective of what I allow in and give out. Now I am not someone that expects anything back, but I have been just giving that to anyone, so. need to be more cautions of who I allow that with.

I have been a bucket for far too many that just fill me up with their stuff. Now please know I am not someone that ask for much if anything and if you know me, like actually know me you will know what I need or want that will make that balance equal in life. I will not be putting up with peoples crap anymore and carry more than what they are even will to carry for theirselves, meaning not taking accountability for their own things in their life but always playing victim will not be something I cater any longer. I have been through things but know that I have consciously made the choice to allow things and made the choice to be there. Now I am not saying I will be judging people and their situations and I am not one to be harsh about things but I will be a lot more ” we make our own choices” kid of person. I will use my word with love and will always think before I speak.

cannotI am not and never will be someone that will just look at a situation one sided, but I will be someone that listens first and think about how I should respond knowing that what ever happens from that point on is and will be on them just like I know I have the same right. I have carried so much of other peoples emotions and challenges that it affects me and that I cannot and will not do anymore. If something needs to change and I have control over it I will change it.

So for 2024 I will be investing in MYSELF first and those who invest back into me. Thank you to those who have showed me that that is important and that it is ok to say no and yes when I need and want to. I will be expressing how I feel more good and bad and of course always with love . I will be telling the people in my life I love and appreciate them more because nothing is guaranteed. I will be always working myself in a reality state because I am the one in control of my life, thoughts, and actions.

I am excited for what is to come and thankful for all I have in people and things.