I don’t ever remember as a child talking about having kids or even talking about being a kid. Like “I know things are hard” or “Help me try to understand, because it was different when I was young”. I have a 14 year old almost 15 and I am watching the changes. My daughter has two moms and we are COMPLETE opposites. Our daughter is a perfect mix of both of us though. We have been divorced for 12 years but have worked on coparenting the best we can.
My daughter goes back and forth to each other houses every week and has since kindergarten. I have noticed as she has gotten old while somethings have stayed consistent, some things have gotten, I guess you can say frustrating. She packs a small suitcase, a bag, her backpack, and cheer bag. Her clothes situation used to be a lot easier when she saw little, but as she has gotten older they are more expensive so can’t easily be duplicated and is always changing, so it is hard to keep up with.
Now don’t get me wrong I know she can’t stay the little girl that would hold my hand, cuddle me while she slept, think about me all the time and tell me, or want to be with my all the time. But can I try to keep her soft to people, think kindly first before judging, not compare herself to other girls, and teach her to understand that having standards and expectations are a good thing not always a let down. I have always wanted to be a parent and a mentor to kids. Being a kid is tough and even harder now with phones, movies, and just life in general.
I know the out of her moms I am known as the no mom, but I have really tried hard these last few years to be a yes parent with understanding. I want her to have friends and have fun and do things, I really do. I also want to know that she will make the right decisions in hard situations even after a bad decision might have been made. I do NOT want to be her friend I WANT to be her parent that she knows she is safe with and knows that she can mess up and that’s ok.
We do not ask much of her. I feel like we has raised her to be self-sufficient and has always been a helper. I try to do all the things. I am on Instagram, Pinterest, and google to try to continue to educate myself and grow as a parent. I have been creating a play book of parenting for years and I am running out of plays and the teams are harder to beat.
She is my world. She is everything I have ever wanted and every little thing she does gives me the feels. If she freaking rocks it at a cheer I am tearing up. I know it’s like come on Breanna. But she is my world and I just want to enjoy and root her on for everything. I know she has and will make mistakes and that’s fine, I have a ton of my own, but I don’t want her to be alone if she does and or rely on a friend. I want her to keep growing up, I just want her to let me be a part of it.
We won’t have this for ever and it will for ever be changing, I know. I just wish that as hard as they think their life is and how we can’t understand, I wish they understood we are going through the same growing pains and ask for patience. Please don’t take moments and milestones from us because you think you are too cool for school. I want us to be able to look back and remember those things and times together.
Being a parent to me is my most important job and the one that matters the most. IT is the foundation for everything else I did, do , and will do. I want to be able to pass that on to her, the importance of family, love, support, understanding, and that it won’t always be easy but worth it.
Consistently inconsistent 