Being an over thinker can be a good and bad thing. For me personally it is both of those at times. The good is that it has made me very intuitive to feelings and situations, but on the other hand, there are times it has been bad for me like when I sit in feelings or situations that are unknown to me or out of my control. Now I am not a controlling person, so when I use that word it is more the feeling of not having a choice in something.
This year is bringing a lot of changes, and if you know me I hate change. My mom and friends tell me that all the time. I am such a creature of habit and routine person that sometimes I get really overwhelmed when things have to be modified or totally different. In certain situations I am totally go with the flow, but that’s because I planned to be. I know what you are thinking, what at nut. Well yes. For so many years at a time in my life I had no control and now that I have control of my life, it kind of takes a lot.
Even though I work and try to stay busy, I, in between all that just think about stuff. In a few months multiple big things will all be happening, some for sure and some that I will know hopefully before hand. Always thinking, I admit can be very overwhelming at times, but I also feel it helps me sort things out in my head. It allows me to prepare and figure out a plan for the next move I need to make. For business, work, and scheduling it is great, but in other life areas it can be too much and sabotaging.
When it comes to people and relationships it can mess me up mentally and emotionally. I am someone that over loves, over cares, shows up, keeps promises, and is loyal to a fault. This generation of dating and even friendships makes it hard. I am not someone that can half ass in things like being there. When I think of people I tell them, when I love or care for someone I tell them, and when someone needs me I will be there in any way that they need.
This hook-up culture, ghosting, bread crumbing, and situationship ability is not for me. I need absolute clarity and honesty. When I say that I mean like a child, break it down for me to the exact terms of what you are wanting and needing, so I know how to navigate what I can and can’t do. But, being an over thinker makes it hard because I will over analyze things. I might read in to things that might not be totally true all the time, but with communication for us “over thinkers” is key.
Now let’s talk about technology, social media and all of the instant ways things can be solved. A lot of people have lost the skill of face to face and being consistent. And I mean read my blog name you can even be real about being inconsistently inconsistent. Let’s be real we “ALL” come with baggage and trauma of some sort, so when it comes to friendships and relationships putting it all out there will always be the best bet. It allows whoever you are trying to get to know just a little bit more about you when learning each other. With my friendships I like to have one on one time so that I can learn them and them I in a more intimate way.
When we build a strong foundation in all we do, it allows us to have a firm ground to fall back on if things can’t be reciprocated. I am learning and will continue to learn that not everyone can meet you where you are or even the potential you are working towards. I am finding it hard for me to understand that at times, only because, very much like a lot of interviews I have held over the years there are a lot of people that will just tell you what they think you want to hear, other than say where they are from the get go and avoid all chances of being let down and or disappointed in the out come. The mess that is left can possibly just add to the load they already carry and this world is heavy enough.
Ok, back to all of the forms of things that make it even harder these day for people such as social media and texting. Of course because I am going through something right now all that shows up on my FYP is things including that. I work in a job that I might not always be able to text instantly, answer a call, or respond to a DM, but I have too much accessibility not to shoot something back in the mean time. I might not be on my phone all the time but I do have a watch that allows me to respond and not everyone does I get that and because of who I am and how I think and feel, I can take two seconds to say “with a client”, “be right back”, “give me one sec”, or “can’t talk now”. Now it’s just me but I don’t like to leave people guessing or waiting. I know that is not everyone situation, so I am just speaking about me. Like I said in the beginning if that is disclosed it’s not a problem, but what the problem can be is when you do respond quick in the beginning and then all of the sudden it just stops. Then there is social media and to the sensitive over thinker seeing that you are online or can do that but can’t respond all we do is think is “What the heck!” I try to understand that we all have different outlets and distractions. Sometimes we just want to check out for sec rather than check in. Our lives are overwhelming, and sometimes that one more thing is just like, ugh, one more thing.
Yesterday I heard a quote or I guess just a thought and it made me think a lot actually, and I know nothing new, but it hit home for me. They said, ” If someone can read a text, leave you on delivered, or just plain ignore you and think man what should I eat for dinner, and never respond, that says so much more about them and the audacity they have to be so insensitive to people.” That will never be me because I am never too busy and care too much about what they might feel or think. I know things can be a lot, feelings can be a lot, but remember the beginning when you put those feelings in, it wasn’t easy and probably wasn’t for the other person either, so give the decency and regain that courage you had in the first place to finish up whatever you started.
No one is ever to busy. That’s all I hear lately and it sucks because it is way too easy to give something. But I guess that’s just me. What’s hard is for people to be real and honest, sweet or sour. Don’t make people think, don’t play games, don’t be intentional about the wrong things. Be gentle or harsh whatever works for you I guess. Be so completely honest it comes off as to much, because people all have things going on that the last thing they need is to feel is confused, unwanted, unworthy, not good enough, and not worth a quick response. And if you are not in a place to be something to someone don’t even crack that window. It is all fun and games until there are more people in this world hurting over something they don’t understand.
To all the sensitive, feelers, over thinkers, empaths, caring people out there don’t let your heart go hard. Stay soft, stay gentle, and remember or at least try to remember that we come into peoples lives for a reason in those moments and although we might give it all, some just can’t meet us where we are. We have to read between the lines and keep a steady pace at meeting them where they are as much as that sucks. Everyone out here is or has gone through something but not everyone knows how to deal with that in the moment. So be kind and always lead with love and continue to grow from each experience.
Consistently inconsistent 