Everything around me

After a breakup, some not all, tend to see their ex in everything and everywhere you go. Hi! I am one of them. I can’t help it. Especially after this last relationship. I mean 8 years. That is a long time and a lot of memories made in so many places. Along with all of the places and things I wanted to do.

From the smallest to the biggest memories. From our first date, our first shopping trip, to the first time I saw them again. Let me give you just a bit of background on us. I first met her at a house party at my friend’s house. I saw her and instantly my heart melted. Well, that night we met but didn’t work out for me. That was the first and last I had seen her for many years. I never forgot her and then many years later and being friends on Facebook, she saw I was hiring and was going through some stuff at her salon. She reached out and I felt it all over again. The first time I saw her was at the Starbucks in Safeway behind my salon. She was attending a class I was having and holy crap. I was done for. If you ask me we have a true love story. There is a lot more to our story but that would honestly turn in to a book.

Now I have 8 years of memories with someone that I never even thought I had a chance with. So back to the point. I am someone that holds on to memories, super tight. I have the memory like no other. Every little thing reminds me.

Smells, moments in the car, when I lay down, when I get up, my clothes, shoes, things in my house, restaurants, shops, and so many other locations. You get the point. Everything was so different and new, and exciting. I was mentally just capturing everything I could. I wanted to cherish everything with her.

I try not to let it get me down but rather put a smile on my face. I know the ups go with the downs and the lefts go with the rights. I just try to do my best to get myself through the day when my mind wanders. Remember, I am an over thinker. So it is a constant battle.

I am not in a place nor will I probably ever be in one to just erase or get rid of things or try to replace them because nothing can nor will replace all the things good and bad that I hold on to and remember. Some comforting and some uncomfortable but all a piece of me.